Roman Patterson
If the brutal world of political machinations were an aquarium, there was only one tank. Roman Patterson is a preternaturally powerful Great White Shark, moving forward at a perfect pace, swaying and stalking the entirety of his surroundings. In Roman’s world, everyone and everything is a tasty seal to be toyed with or devoured. Sure, they could all stay alive by staying out of his path for awhile, but it only delayed the inevitable. Everyone was shark food, and most days Roman has a painfully insatiable appetite.
When news of the biolab disaster is released, the feeding frenzy begins. Roman Patterson is known as “The Great White” (for numerous reasons) among the political elite. He is feared, respected, and hungry for power. As patient zero arrives, Roman wastes no time in leveraging a great crisis for his own power and benefit.
“You’ve made the grave error of blindly wandering into my territory once more, so before I smear you across the pavement like the insignificant shit-stain you are, I’ll give you a single chance to explain what you think you can possibly offer me, that I don’t already own completely.”
-Roman Patterson
Richard Thurston III
Hollywood movie mogul, open misogynist, government propagandist, and producer of high-brow cinema franchises including “Bimbo Whores from Planet Bimbo,” and “Whore Bimbos from Planet Whore!”
As well as his follow-up feature, “Bimbo Whores in the ‘Hood!”
Dick Thurston is what you’d expect when unchecked narcissism gets rich from profiting off of trashy modern media. This is the kind of angry, entitled monster you’d create if you took all of Elon Musk’s money and gave it to Jerry Springer. Dick is obsessed with stuffing his bank account via any means, and as an opportunist with a plethora of connections to politicians and celebrity, he is the fulcrum in the balance of The Wokepocalypse and the ongoing culture war.
“They think I don’t respect women! I respect you just fine, don’t I? I got nothing but respect for broads! All of them. Even the old fat ones. I even respect my fucking grandmother, rest her soul.”
-Dick Thurston III
Henrietta Germaine
Finding success as a gender studies professor at one of the most prestigious universities in the West, Henrietta wields her virtue signaling like a feared conductor of the intersectional orchestra.
She may not be the type to scream and shout, but Henrietta’s ego demands subservience from all of her flock. An expert in the art of victimhood and outrage, there is no better face to put on social justice’s newest marginalized group, the retroactively deceased.
When opportunity strikes, and a public figure is needed to leverage the culture war, the most powerful see Henrietta as the perfect tool to drum up outrage and profit.
But who is really playing who?
“You invited me to your office, Mr. Thurston, then you immediately insult me by using the incorrect pronoun in a blatant misogynistic attempt to exert your unearned white male privilege over what you likely assume to be some stupid old woman in your disgusting den of testosterone-fueled hatred.”
-Henrietta Germaine
The Wokepocalypse is coming in Summer 2023! Be sure to Learn About the World, Meet the Heroes, and follow me on the socials for updates about this awesome project!